Portlandia

This has mostly been a Shut-In Summer, during which I have spent my time studying and avoiding sunlight. My volunteer work is on hiatus, and my friends in the city have led the shut-in brigade and refused to leave their houses, so I don't get out very much. 

What this mainly means is that when the opportunity to drive to Portland twice with my parents came up, I actually jumped at it. The first trip was back in June, when I dropped them off at PDX for the trip out to Bonaire. It was the first time I have driven my parents anywhere on a road trip, and the power of being able to choose the music and where we stopped was overwhelming. My mother mostly slept, complained about the music ("Don't you have anything NEW? Like Sam Smith or Ke$ha?") and woke up to ask where we were from the back seat. Role reversal is a bitch.

Trip the Second was this weekend, and I decided to make it a tiny vacation, because driving 6+ hours in one day is not as much fun as it seems.  I booked a room at McMenamin's Crystal Hotel, which is in the Pearl District of downtown Portland. McMenamin's is a super Portlandish company that buys old buildings and refinishes and repurposes them and also makes beer. I've stayed at a few of their other properties, including an old train-robber friendly hotel, and a creepy-ass former-elementary school. I highly recommend them if you enjoy shabby-chic and don't require a television in your room. They are fun, but definitely not for everyone. 

The rooms at the Crystal Hotel are all themed after songs that have been performed in the nearby concert venue that McMenamins also runs. I was really hoping for Blondie or Nick Cave, but the desk clerk forgot to ask my preference before she checked me in, and i wound up with Little Junior Parker's "Mystery Train". Well, at least I was "Heart of Glass" adjacent.

The rooms are all painted with lyrics and other decorations from their designated songs, and are super cute. 

True to my previous record, I managed to get the Woody Woodpecker room, with the hotel neon shining just outside.  

Fortunately there was an ice cream sammich from Ruby Jewel to distract me. It was Almond Cherry ice cream between sprinkly snickerdoodles. It was also my lunch. I suck at adulting. 

One of my local friends and I wandered around downtown for a while, killing time and catching Pokemon. We shopped for shoes, scoops, and spices. Then we were attacked by a giant, weirdly Freudian clown. This is the best picture I was able to snap, as I slowly backed away. He ran across the street to us, to ask us for money. I can't even describe how terrifying this was. Especially when he stuck his head out of its chest-vagina. I didn't think clowns could be scarier. I was so wrong, So Very, Very wrong.