downtown

Grab your map and get on the bus, we are going to see the sprawling metropolis of Kralendijk. You can use the map from the back of the tourist guide, because really there isnt a lot of stuff here, and it shows all three of the gas stations on the island!

If you dont want to take the bus, we can drive. If the parking lot for downtown (yes, there is one. one! ahahah!) is crowded, we can park on the sidewalk like the locals do.

We can visit what years of bad pirate movies have trained you to expect from the Carribean, and admire paint in shades from the gay pride palette.

Read your tourism brochure to learn that local legend says most of the buildings in the Carribean were white until the 1930's, when the govenor of the Netherlands Antilles, (living on Curaçao, the next island over) passed a law against white buildings. He cited the bright, reflective nature of the buildings as the reason, rather than the fact he owned the only paint seller on the islands at the time.

Listen, while tourguidemom shouts "oh, thats new!" at every other shop, and assume turnover is high. Travel back in time and enjoy brands not seen since the 1980s!

We will visit the "mall" (it says so right on the sign), which has the only escalator in town, very likely the only one on the island. And it works! Seen from across the street, the mall is mostly open air, and you can see the whole shebang in one picture.

don't be so scared of the creepy kidlet mannequins that you run away.

The manhole covers are substandard at best, try not to trip.

Just in case we need them, emergency services are at the ready, though if there is a hospital, it is probably closed between noon and two pm like most things here.